This is one moment in your life. One moment in a indefinite series of moments that will eventually consume you. This moment sucks. It sucks in that big way that you wish you didn’t have more sucky moments coming to you. But the reality is, there will be worse moments. There will be harder times, and you’ll look back and laugh that this hurt so much. Sounds pessimistic, but on the other side of things, there will be all those moments that far outweigh the shit moments. Those moments when you’re glad you stuck around and didn’t give up when you wanted to. That’s all you can ever hope from life. We’re given a heart and a brain and a means to cognitively get through all those moments when you felt like there wasn’t a reason to keep thinking about anything. There is no right answer to life. There is not set guidelines as to how you’re supposed to live, no ultimate happiness, no paramount tragedy. There is just these series of moments that write your book for you, that answer your questions, and that motivate you to keep on living. Suicide victims never get the chance to truely see that. If you spend your whole life within the expectation that your life isn’t as good as it could be, you’ll never truely be satisfied. In this one moment, this is as good as it’s going to get for this moment. I sit here on a couch in a home that scares me in ways I couldn’t begin to describe, and in this moment, this is all I have. This moment is my life, and there are plenty of moments to come that will be better, and plenty that are going to make me wish I was back here right now. There needs to be a time when you’re own happiness no longer hides the truth from you. There needs to be a time when you understand that there is no cookie-cutter response for how our lives are supposed to turn out and there is in no way a set definition surrounding how you’re bound to live yours. Stop envying the people with the better relationships, the better cars, the better jobs. Stop feeling like you’re not adequate to help people who have been through worse than you. Stop thinking that you’re reality isn’t as real as their’s just because you haven’t experienced the things you have, because this is your reality. This love, as challenging as it may be, is your life in this moment and there are going be a million and one things that want to take that away from you. So what if that happens? Then it’s another sucky moment. It’s another time when you can’t help but wonder what the point of it all is. Then that moment will come when you can breathe again, that split second when you smile through all the tears you may have grown so accustomed to shedding. It’s in that small and somewhat fleeting moment that you need to understand that you do have the capacity to smile again, just as much as you have the ability to love again. So take it for face value, embrace the pain, no strength was ever built on weakness. In the end, everything will be okay. If you can’t believe that, redefine your definition of “okay.”
Dedicated to: MC
There's a love coming to us all. 